Out of my mind, back in 5 minutes

vapor-man:

people who ply video games for fun fucking disgust me I play for 2 reasons

  • to get mad
  • to win

any other reason and you are scum casuals

drugdoer:

grassfire:

Imagine if Breaking Bad was set in Canada or the UK or Australia. Walt discovers he has lung cancer, is promptly treated at no cost and discharged with no financial burden apart from $20 in subsidised prescriptions. The end.

hmm. it’s almost as if Breaking Bad might have been trying to say something. Who knows, though

oroxine:

poyzn:

There is someone out there for everybody.

It just might be a goose.

weloveshortvideos:

Random crow shows up on dude’s porch, looks him straight in the face and says ‘fuck you’

kissesformabitches:

they was talking real shit back then and i took it as a joke

themaskedotter:

themaskedotter:

I’m crying because when my dad was eighteen he was going to join the airforce and then the night before he had a dream that Jesus slapped him in the face with a gigantic fish and asked him what he was doing and he woke up and thought, “Jesus is right what am I doing?” And that’s why my dad did not join the military. 

But really I probably wouldn’t have been born if my dad hadn’t been fish slapped in the face by dream Jesus and I can’t even

peter-pans-booty-shorts:

ohhowlucky:

danteogodofsoup:

killbenedictcumberbatch:

standupcomedyblog:

John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner

THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE

GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY

This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.

This is my favorite story ever and I will reblog it every time I see it.

bands-arent-just-bands:

miggylol:

I googled “angry duck” and I’m really glad I did

image

I feel you, little duck

i caNT BREATHE

kizzle-chizzle:

I think this comment won it all.
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kizzle-chizzle:

I think this comment won it all.

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